Integration versus denial

For most of us we deny the parts of ourselves that we find shameful, and don’t want to own. These parts have typically been with us for a long time and reside dormant until an activating event wakes it up and agitates it, bringing back all the apsects of its darkness. When the darkness is first revealed there can be a moment of discomfort, maybe even dread at what will unfold. What battle will we need to fight to find our sanity again? The vicious cycle ensues. The body responds with tight constraints, the pit in the stomach returns. Layers of sadness, grief or anger emerge. The wound has been exposed, it is tender and raw, yet it is challenging to see it as a tender wound that simply needs to be accepted and nourished with a healing balm. Instead of slowing down, taking a breath, and allowing ourselves to be held in a gentle embrace, we quickly engage in reaction to the pain.

What if we could invite the tender holding of the part that desperately wants to be seen, heard and felt. The deep wound that cries in the night for solace and unconditional love. Inviting the wound to be a fully accepted participant in all dynamics of life, knowing it has a gift to share. There was something so valuable in the birthing of the gift but it can easily be discarded as an outdated, unwanted thing that has now just become a nusance to bear.

Holding ourselves in sweet compassion as this unwanted aspect vies for our attention. Let’s vow to integrate this part so that it is not another aspect of us that is simply rejected and abandoned. What would it feel like to embrace the wound with open arms, to say “I see you, I hear you and I witness your pain?” Can we invite the pain a place to reside in our heart as we integrate what it has to teach us.